PRAISE THE LORD!!!

ALL 3 EGGS FERTILIZED!!! YES!!!! We will head to St Louis tomorrow evening for a 7:30AM transfer Saturday. SWEET!!! I nearly burst into tears when the nurse told me. This is purely the result of prayer. I will write more after my class tonight. Please keep the prayers coming. We still have more hurdles to clear...

The Four O'Clock Hour

That's when we'll find out if any of the eggs fertilized. I'm remarkably calm today. I feel good, like we're going to get great news. Of course, I'll post the latest on here. We are still so excited about yesterday and the docs retrieving three eggs. WHOO-HOO!! We started the intramuscular shots of progesterone in oil (PIO). I'm quite sore from those shots already. It's like having a sore muscle. A small pain for such great rewards. Please continue to pray and we'll keep you posted!!

Rule of Threes

In journalism school, you learn about the rule of threes. Three sources on a fact means it's likely true. Threes make for great and memorable writing (e.g. huff and puff and blow your house down). Celebrity deaths happen in 3s. And three is the sweetest number on this journey so far.

In what felt like the blink of an eye, doctors whisked Missy away Wednesday morning and just as quickly returned with her absent three eggs. Three miraculously and medically created eggs. Three eggs we hope will have the right mojo to lead to greater things.

After all, three is better than none, a real possibility given the fragility of the female system. Dr. Silber and Dr. DeRosa both talked with us before the procedure, reminding us of the real possibility that we may come up short. Dr. Silber said most clinics in the world would have shut the book on cases like ours, women whose bodies did not respond abundantly to the medication. They avoid such couples to maintain their success rate, a key marketing tool in the fertility business.

But not Dr. Silber. He believes that any shot at conception is one worth taking, even if it is only thre eggs. The one thing Missy does have going for her is age. A woman of similar circumstance at age 35 or older would have a much lower chance of yielding any fruits.

While the glow is brighter, we are still far from seeing the light. Those three eggs will now rendezvous with my DNA hoping to sow some seeds. Again no guarantees of sucess. If they don't get along, we're back where we started.

But if boy meets girl, girl likes boy, and an embryo comes out of this meeting, then the couple moves up to a d-lux apartment in Missy's uterus. That would be Saturday morning.

Which brings me back to the first three words Missy was able to articulate in her medicated state: Praise the Lord.

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Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Device

Up and At 'Em!

Here we go! We're up before the sun and getting ready to head to the hospital. Brad will update via Blackberry when he knows how many eggs they retrieved. Keep the prayers coming!

The Final Countdown (and the photos to prove it)

Here it is - Brad's big moment with the needle. 10,000 units (huh huh) of Novarel right there in the kiester.

No blood, no pain, but she's sore back there as if someone stuck a needle in her butt.

On the "Labor Day" scale of indecency, I'd give this one a 6. 

Don't Worry, Be Happy

That is my motto this week. There are many things that could consumer me if I let them. We leave for St Louis this afternoon. Then we get up SUPER early tomorrow and get the show on the road. Since I'm focusing on being happy and not on worries, here are some fun 80's images from a recent email my sister Weed sent me. They sure made me smile! Enjoy!


Jelly Shoes!
Alf!

Lights, Camera, Action!

Brad asked that I amend the previous post to say he's not just the loving and supportive husband but also a dedicated director. He's developing quite a stock of film as we move through our IVF cycle. He's so dedicated to his art...when we got the call today in the car about the egg retrieval, he had the camera rolling. While I was on the phone, he turned off the air conditioner and the car so he could get good audio of my end of the phone conversation. He was thusly disappointed when I hung up the phone and my first words to the camera were, "Why did you turn off the air?!?! It's hot and I'm about to die!!!"

Brad also got to do his part to help out this evening but that didn't stop the camera. He had to give me the HCG trigger shot in the hindquarters. It is intermuscular, which means I couldn't do it myself. He went to it right after setting up the video camera. That's some footage I hope no one ever sees...me getting a shot in the patoot (ok, it's more like getting a shot in the hip area...still, I don't think anyone wants to see that)! I'm not sure what he plans to do with all this footage (can't you just see it ending up on UTube!?!). I guess he's doing a documentary...So, watch out Ken Burns!! PBS will be airing Brad's documentary entitled "Brains, a heart and courage." When you pledge your support to PBS during this program, you'll get an ink pen shaped like a syringe.

EGG RETRIEVAL IS ON!!!

Praise the LORD!! We got the good news by phone a little while ago. I'm so excited to be moving forward!! Even though it's good news, I'm still trying to take it one moment at a time (goodness knows we're not done yet). All my hormone levels look good. (estradiol=473, LH=1.7, FSH=12.8) The uterine lining is good at 13mm. So, we're a go for 7:30AM Wednesday. We will be heading back to St Louis tomorrow evening. We have to be at the hospital by 6AM Wednesday. Brad will finally get some action in all this (beyond playing the role of incredibly supportive and loving husband). He'll do his part (ahem) Wednesday morning too. After the eggs are retrieved, then comes another waiting game. We call Thursday afternoon to see if fertilization occurred. So, pray that the procedure goes well (there are risks), that they get 3 or more GREAT eggs and that they fertilize and become 8 cell embryos and that those embryos implant, become a healthy pregnancy and result in the birth of our healthy baby nine months later. So, as you can see, we're not asking for much..*wink*

We will call Thursday afternoon to find out if the eggs fertilized. Thank you all for your continued prayer and support.

Not sure what's next

It's unclear what will happen now (because clarity would be too easy). Still only three measurable follicles but they are bigger. The one on the right is a whopping 2.1cm. The two on the left are 1.5mm and 1.6mm. We will know something for sure after 4 o'clock today. They could cancel, order more meds and more monitoring or order egg retrieval for Wednesday. Tomorrow is my target date, which is the day I originally picked for retrieving the eggs. Obviously, it won't be happening tomorrow. At this stage, if we move forward, the earliest it could happen is Wednesday. Will keep you posted. I'm praying that we'll be able to continue. Please keep us in your prayers and thoughts.

Meet Me in St Louis

We're back for some "Arch Madness" here in St Louis. We'll have monitoring and bloodwork tomorrow morning. We'll get the full report again tomorrow after 4PM. We're praying that it's good news, that we get the "go" for egg retrieval. Please cover us in your prayers. I'll give you the full report on the ultrasound tomorrow morning. Let's hope there are MANY BIG follies to see and measure!!

In the meantime, here are some random things that make me smile (because you always need something to make you smile):

*Clue, the movie
*Semi-sweet chocolate chip cookies
*Embroidered jeans
*Good coffee
*Meeting a new beach
*New episodes of "Lost" and "Survivor"
*Mountains
*Beach umbrellas
*Tea rooms
*Fluffy comforters
*Ted's Band on "Scrubs" singing an a capella version of the "Charles in Charge" theme
Sand
*Brick streets
*Indiana Jones
*Pepperoni and Jalapeno Pizza
*Old School Nintendo
*Bands like Kutless and Relient K
*Times Square
*Handwritten letters
*Fresh flowers in a vase
*Taxis
*Musicals

Yesterday's devotional, as promised

So here's what mom sent me yesterday from Joel Osteen...Very appropriate:

Trust God with your dreams

Today's Scripture

"The vision is for an appointed time. Though it tarry, wait earnestly for it, for it will surely come." (Habakkuk 2:3)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

We know God has put dreams and desires in your heart—things you are hoping, praying, and believing for. The Bible says "if we'll pray in faith, according to God's Word, then God will hear us and He will answer those prayers."

When you have a dream from God in your heart, you don't have to struggle and try to force it to happen. You don't have to be worried or frustrated, wondering if it's ever going to come to pass. When you have the promises of God deep in your heart, the Bible says you will "enter into the rest of God." That's a place of total trust. A place where you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is going to see you through. It's a place of faith, knowing that God is in complete control, and at the exact right time, He will bring your dream to pass!

A Prayer for Today

God, You know the dreams of my heart. I rely on You to bring them to fruition and trust in Your perfect plan and perfect timing. In Jesus' Name – Amen.

My take on where we are

In case you couldn't figure it out from the title of the previous post (Star Wars, anyone?), Brad wrote that one.  So, here are my thoughts.  I was ready to hear that the cycle was cancelled.  I didn't want to hear it of course but I felt prepared.  I trusted God that if we got cancelled, I could take comfort in knowing there's a bigger plan at work here (I still believe that as we now move forward).  I told my sister Weedy that this is teaching me to live in the moment and not fret or worry, simply to trust.  Then, Mom sends me this AWESOME devotional today from Joel Osteen about how God has a plan for making your dreams a reality.  When I get to a computer, I will post it on here.  Also today my friend Misty sent me an email about how God answers even before we ask.  Then my friend Karen sends us a sweet comment on here.  Brad's mom Terry is also sending us her love and support.  And there are so many others, on and on.  I feel the prayers from each of you.  We are surrounded by love.  Speaking of love, we love this little child we are trying to bring into this world.  And if this cycle with all its uncertainty brings that child to us, we KNOW that child will be a fighter and a survivor. 

So we're just going to enjoy this weekend (no long car trips!) without worry or concern.  God has secured our future.

Fw: Episode IV - A New Hope

Sorry...we're having technical difficulties getting this posted.  So, here it is again:

Our fading hopes for an egg retrieval next week have turned around - at least through the weekend.

Friday morning began with the requiste 6:15 a.m. alarm. Continental breakfast followed, although this morning's buffet included the realization that Missy forgot her fertility folder at home.  An already anxious appiointment took on an extra degree of tension.

Thankfully Missy was able to complete her bloodwork without great hassle.  The ultrasound tech was a different gal than our previous two occasions.  She was much more personable, particularly as she desdribed what she saw: on the right hand side 1.6 cm follicle.  On the left, two life-giving growths of 1.3 cm and 1.2 cm. Better news than our previous visits, but not enough to stem the growing sense than fertilization was simply not in the cards for us this cycle.

Lunch at the Cheesecake Factory was followed by a screening of the Al Gore movie, "An Inconvenient Truth." (Solid for what it was. I could have done without the sour grapes clips of the Florida recount.)

So the call from Dr. Silber's office finally came (It must be 4:20 somewhere).  "We're going to continue you on the same dose of meds through the weekend with more monitoring on Monday."

Whew. For the entire week, we have predicted, postulated, and prayed about what Missy's less than spectacular response would mean.  Wait another cycle?  Do they pro-rate the fees in this case?  Would the meds give us a better shot at doing it the old fashioned way?

So hope is still alive at least for the weekend.  Missy will keep shooting up at the prescribed hour.  As of this writing (4:53 p.m.), we are currently back in route to St. Louis.  Missy only filled her prescription up to the doctor's recommendation.  That means she's used it all up.  We got as far as exit 203 near Cuba when the doctor's office called.  A frantic call to the pharmacy and we're back on the road. The good folks at IVP pharmacy have agreed to stay open until we arrive.

Sorry Al.  We're having a hard time kicking our CO2 emissions this week.  We'll try to do better next week.

The Follies

I had three measurable follicles this morning. There was one at 1.6cm on the right and on the left, one at 1.3cm and one at 1.2cm. While this sounds good, I don't think it will make a difference. This is where my follies should've been Monday or Wednesday. I suspect they will cancel the cycle. We won't know for sure until we get the phone call later today. We will keep you posted.

Waiting Time

It's hard to know how to feel when you are in a waiting time like this. I feel like we've been in a waiting time for three years now. I still have a glimmer of hope that things will be good enough tomorrow that we can continue. But I'm mentally preparing myself for bad news so that if it comes, it won't be a total blow. We go back to St Louis tonight. If anything, it's been great to have time with Brad.

Not so great news...again

"Things are not looking very good this cycle."

That's what the nurse said Wednesday afternoon.  Apparently there was not a measurable follicle on the left side.  That seemed to contradict what the ultrasound tech said during our morning appointment.  I will continue with my meds, have another ultrasound and bloodwork Friday morning, and if things don't look good, they will cancel the egg retrieval scheduled for Tuesday. 

Just pray for us.

Cautiously Optimistic

At the ultrasound this morning, I lay on the bed in a different room than we had Monday. On the ceiling of this room was a picture of a landscape from out west...big reddish formations, desert-like...I believe it was called High Point (trav and mel, do you know where this is?). I just gazed at it and relaxed, thinking "serenity now." First, the tech said my uterine lining was looking better. It has thickened up. Then, there was a measurable follicle on the right side, at 1.2mm. The left side was better with one follicle measuring 9mm. We won't know the blood results until after 4PM today. We *should* get better news since there are measurable follicles. I'll let you know!! Thank you for the many prayers, positive vibes, and babydust you've sent my way...

We made it to St Louis last night around 10:30. We just had breakfast. We're back in the hotel room now. We're killing some time before my acupuncture appointment at noon. Speaking of acupuncture, let me tell you that now I'm a believer!! I was quite skeptical about acupuncture before I had my treatment Monday. But the gal was super nice and answered all my questions. I didn't feel the needles going in. She put them in my ear, arm, legs, feet and lower abdomen. When I told her there were no measurable follicles Monday (this is before we knew the blood results), she said she'd work on improving blood flow to the uterus and increasing estrogen. She also told me to take one moment at a time through this process and live for today. Very much in line with Christian meditation.

BTW, the large needle in the photo from the previous post is NOT the needle I use for the injection. It's the mixing needle. I call it the Horse Needle. I'd go wild if I ever accidentally injected myself with that thing!! The other photo shows one of the injection needles. A month ago, I had a hard time imagining myself doing daily injections. Now, it's just part of the routine.

Continue to keep us in your prayers. This is a long road. I'm glad we're not on it alone.

Back to St Louis

We'll be heading to St Louis this evening and our next round of monitoring will be in the morning. We're hoping and praying the news is good!

Hopeful Hearts...

With hopeful hearts, we continue on despite today's results. In retrospect, I should have been more suspicious that I wasn't having side effects...I wasn't bloated...heck, I felt like running on the treadmill. Other than feeling somewhat tired, I was fine. I guess if the stims are really doing their thing, you feel kinda blah. Onward and upward...Upward with the dosage of follistim. We'll see what happens. Pray that these follicles will grow between now and Wednesday morning.

Not good news...

Just got off the phone with Dr. Silber's office.  There were no measurable follicles. Worse than that was the estradiol number (tells you how much estrogen is in your blood stream). It was only 19 and it should be in the hundreds. They are increasing the dosage of the follicle stimulating drugs. We go again Wednesday for monitoring. They want to see a significant increase in the estradiol number. If it's not up, they could cancel the cycle. Please pray that things will turn around and we'll get great news on Wednesday.