Giraffes and Trains

One of my favorite parts of the movie, "Under the Tuscan Sun" is where Francis, a divorced writer has bought a villa in Tuscany and is having regrets about her purchase and her decision to move to Italy. She tearfully says she has bought a house for a life she doesn't have. Then her real estate agent says this: "Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come." So, in this spirit of having faith, of laying the tracks, I bought a giraffe. I actually won it at a silent auction. It's about 5 feet tall, is made of wood and is painted in wild fun colors. I thought it would be so perfect for a nursery. I got it last November even though there was no baby. I have kept it in my office and I have named it Jean-Paul (JP for short). It has been a reminder to keep the faith. I hope to bring it home soon. Thank you for keeping the faith with us...

6 weeks, 2 days

That's how far along I am today. Wow! It's hard to believe! Brad thinks the time is going by fast...I'm not sure. Sometimes it goes by fast and sometimes it drags. It feels like next Wednesday and my ultrasound appointment will never get here. I'm excited about getting to see what's going on in there. I pray every day about it. I've had more nausea, my face is breaking out some and I'm still quite tired. I'm usually ready for bed at 8:30PM or 9PM. The weather is really getting cool here. It's nice. We had fun looking at some Halloween stuff last night. Love you all!! Hugs all around!!

Thought you would enjoy this as much as I did...

This is from Joel Osteen's e-votional...

Let go of the past

Today's Scripture

"Fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

The first step in moving forward into a fresh future is forgetting the disappointments of yesterday. No matter what people have done to you, or how unfair life has been, God is able to bring you out stronger than before. God wants the rest of your life to be more blessed than the first part—greater, in fact, than anything you could ever imagine. Unfortunately, too many people quit believing for more when they face tough times. They quit expecting anything good to happen. The truth is, our hardships and trials are really opportunities for us to go higher.

Whatever struggles you're going through right now, no matter how large or small . . . they are subject to change. Nothing may look right in your life today, but it's all subject to change. God is working behind the scenes on your behalf!

A Prayer for Today

God, I feel at peace with my situation knowing You are behind the scenes, preparing a fantastic future for me. I am going to let go of the past and believe for more blessing and abundance in the days to come. In Jesus' Name – Amen.

Facing the Giants

There's a new movie coming out called Facing the Giants. It's supposed to be very inspirational. We all face giants of one kind or another (true that!). I saw the trailer for this movie...I think it will be great.

We had a nice quiet weekend. We didn't do much. It was great. Hope all of you had a fab weekend! The ultrasound is a week from Wednesday!!

Lazy Sunday

I'm going to be ready for a Lazy Sunday. This has been a LONG, BUSY week. It just so happens that this week and next week, several projects converge to create back-to-back deadlines. Oh well. It keeps life interesting. It's hard to believe that next Wednesday, I'll be halfway through the first trimester. While that sounds good, we still have to wait and see what the ultrasound will show. I pray about it everyday. That's it from here. Just planning to chill all weekend...

Quiet routine

So, life has taken on a quiet routine. I'm busy at work. But mostly, the quiet of fall is settling over us. It's really nice.

I want to put out a prayer request for my neighbor. She got pregnant a couple of years ago after trying for more than 7 years. Her little boy will be 2 in January. Her husband has been away from home, deployed with a National Guard Unit. He's been away on and off since the little boy turned 1. After his dad left the first time, the little boy stopped "talking" and making baby noises. Now, he's almost two and is barely talking. The mom is stressed over doing so much on her own and dealing with possible developmental delays with her son. Apparently, the dad who is on duty is depressed. They are such precious people and they need our prayers...

Ultrasound coming up...

We've scheduled our first ultrasound for October 4th at 8:30AM. It's so exciting!! It's also a big milestone because it will tell us if the baby/babies is/are in the uterus and if there is a heartbeat. Oh how precious to see that little heartbeat! Please pray now that all will be well when we get to look in on the little one(s). We will also find out if there is one or more than one. Thanks for all your love and support!!

THANK YOU GOD!! ANOTHER HURDLE CLEARED!!

313!! That was the beta number today. Both sets of doctors say they will now consider this to be a "normal" pregnancy. The next hurdle is a significant one. I will have an ultrasound. This will be the chance to see what really is going on down there and how many of those little embryos found a warm place to snuggle for nine months. What an incredible reminder this whole process is that we must take one day, one moment at a time. Easier said than done. I'm beginning to feel pregnant...I nearly got sick to my stomach yesterday morning at church and I'm tired a lot. I suppose I'm finally comfortable enough to buy a pregnancy book. That's it for now. Just rejoicing in this victory. Thank you all for your prayers. The need for more prayers just keeps multiplying as we move forward.

Out of my hands

I've decided to enjoy the weekend, worry free. There is nothing I can do at this point to make those little babies grow inside me. I'm feeling better today though I'm still sneezing and my nose is quite stuffy. We slept later than usual, which was nice. Brad is coming off a week of working long days. So we both needed some extra sleep. It's been a relief last night and today to turn the worrying over to God and simply enjoy the days. I hope to keep this up through Monday and beyond. Thanks for your continued prayer. Our little babies need it (we do too)!

UPDATE!! Better news!! PRAISE THE LORD!!

So, after talking to the IVF team in St Louis, I found out that the number should double every *72* hours. So, we are doing just fine!! No need to FREAK OUT...yet! Praise the Lord! But what a fairweather believer I am. I was so sad and complaining to God about bringing me along this far and then letting us get bad news?!?! When will I learn to trust God and not fret?!?! Anyway, they still want another blood test Monday. Please continue to pray as we have a LONG way to go. We want to see OUTSTANDING numbers on Monday. It's all part of the journey...

An increase but not double...

Beta=152.3
Obviously, the beta did not double. However, the nurse for my regular doc (not the one who did the IVF) said this is not unusual for an IVF patient. At least it is on the rise. Still, it's not exactly the news we had hoped to hear. Please pour on the prayers. This is still such an uncertain time and I know God is in control. God has already performed a miracle by getting us this far. I know God will complete the work. We will re-test Monday. Pray that the number shoots SKY HIGH!!

Waiting...

My doctor's usual nurse is not in today. She's the one who got my results to me super fast on Wednesday. So I'm trying to wait patiently to hear today's news. I'm vegging out at home, trying to recoup from what must be a cold, not just an allergy attack. My throat feels better today (thank you Lord!) but my nose is still super stuffy. Will let you know something as soon as I get the call!

Only 251 more days to go!

With yesterday's life-changing news, the world looks so different. Buying cough drops becomes an ordeal because you want the kind that DOESN'T say "If pregnant or breastfeeding ask a health professional before use." I got clearance from the doc to use chloraseptic throat spray and to "sparingly" take Clairitin (that's plain Clairitin, not Clairitin-D). Brad kindly went out and bought some for me early this morning after another night of a raw sore throat. But I'm trying to hold out as long as I can. I don't want to take it unless I'm dying. I hope I can get over these allergies soon!

It was so fun to read everyone's comments yesterday! Thank you for sharing in our joy. As you might expect, we are not making any "announcements" for another two months. We want to clear the first trimester before telling people beyond our "inner circle" on here. Here's a fun ticker to watch the countdown:

100!!

We just got the call that the beta is 100!!THANK YOU LORD!!  Anything over 25 is good.  We had come back home and gotten in bed when my cell phone rang.  It was the nurse for my Springfield doctor and all she said at first was CONGRATULATIONS!!!!  We are so ecstatic!  We will have another beta test Friday to make sure the number at least doubles.  Please, please, please keep us in your prayers!!!!!  Thank you for your love and support and prayers so far on this journey!!
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Perhaps a slight delay

We got to the lab about 7:15AM.  The line was out the door!  So, it may be a little later than we expected when we get the results.  Will keep you posted!
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Rise and Shine!

I woke up arounnd 4:30 with a scratchy throat (darn allergies).  It's high season for ragweed around here and it just drives my whole body bonkers.  Anyway, I tossed around in bed until 5:45 or so.  I decided to get up and fix some canned biscuits (Missy's version of homemade).  I will go to the lab here in Springfield at 7AM to have my blood drawn.  My doc's nurse said she should have the results by 10AM (that's 11AM for all you EST folks).  I'm not sure how I will feel after I get going.  I may take off part of today to sleep and let my body rest from the allergy attack.  Thankfully, the allergies haven't gotten as bad this year as they've been in the past.  I'm sure it wasn't JUST the allergies that made it impossible for me to go back to sleep this morning...
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Caterpillar with Wings

I was reading a section in my meditation book last night. It said we are often like caterpillars with wings...willing to commit to a partial transformation (thus the wings) but remaining too heavy to fly. I really liked that image because it accurately captures how I feel sometimes. Hope you all are doing well. We have a lovely cool day here. It's only supposed to reach 70 degrees. I love nice fall weather. It's hard to believe that we will know our results in less than 24 hours!!! YIKES!! Prayers, prayers, prayers...

A couple more days of bliss...

Only two days until our first beta test (for now, ignorance is bliss). This is a blood test to determine how much of the pregnancy hormone is in my system. Pray they find LOTS! Regardless of the outcome Wednesday, we have a second beta Friday. If we get good news Wednesday, we will be praying that the beta number at least DOUBLES by Friday. You guys, I just feel so lifted up by your prayers. Can I say that sometimes along this journey, I have been too drained/exhausted to pray. Sometimes my heart gets so full/heavy that I just know don't know how to pray. Have you ever felt that way? That's when it's especially comforting to know that I have each of you praying for me.

Indiana Jones

We had a blast watching Raiders of the Lost Ark this weekend. We wanted to watch it after Brad got the latest copy of the UK entertainment mag Empire. Indy's on the cover and there's a great interview with lots of the actors, Spielberg and Lucas. We also whiled away the weekend with a visit to a couple of festivals, a football game and a new Saturday evening contemporary worship service. Brad's boss goes there and we jokingly told him we were there "to spy." We also made a trip to a video/comic book store in search of Mike Tyson's Punch Out but alas, our desires were left unrequited. We had a great time with everything...So, it was nice to have so many diversions to help keep my mind off waiting. It's hard to believe that we'll get news of the outcome of all this on Wednesday! It's exciting. Please keep praying...And we'll keep you posted!

Friday!!

Good morning (it's Friday so it has to be good)! It's been cooler in Springfield this week and quite pleasant. It will warm up this weekend and cool off again next week. Anyone else ready for the fall?!?! I was in Wal-Mart this morning and they had Halloween stuff out. I just love this time of year.

No big plans for the weekend.

Thank you for your continued prayer (bring it on!!). It keeps us going...

Happy Anniversary to Us!!

Today is our 7th wedding anniversary! I can think of no better gift to give my beloved than news that we are having a little beloved...Love you, Bun!!

Back to work

It's good to be back at work this morning after laying around most of the time since Saturday. I plan to take it easy today. I do have my two classes to teach but I don't have anything stressful planned for those. It's good to be here and have things to distract me. I felt a little nauseous last night and again this morning (don't get too excited...it's way too early for that to be a sign). Anyway, I was also able to detect this morning that the trigger shot has left my system. (Email me if you really want to know how I was able to detect that). Please continue to lift us up in prayer. We are eager to find out what the blood test shows next Wednesday.

Who do they look like?

So, which embryo looks like me and which one looks like Brad? (Granny T has already claimed Sonny for herself!!!). Today is a lovely fall-like day. I wish I could be outside and enjoy it. Instead, I'm laying around and enjoying the difficult task of doing nothing. Sure, I've got my books etc. Yesterday was a lovely beach-themed day. We had seafood for dinner by tiki light, I finished re-reading a beach book called Summer Sisters. Not beach-related but we watched a really cool movie last night. We rented "Akeelah and the Bee." Super family movie if you haven't seen it. We may venture out to the theatre this evening to see Little Miss Sunshine. I figure going to the movies isn't very strenuous and I need some distraction. Hope you all have a great Labor Day!!

Their first photo

Everyone in church asked about us and sent along their thoughts and prayers to Missy who was getting "bedrest." 

2ww

I'm in the 2 week wait (2ww).  It's hard because there's nothing to do but wait.  I'm really bad at that.  And while you wait, you obsess over every little cramp or twinge in your lower abdomen.  I'm praying God will help me get over this and live in the moment.  I did have some mild cramping yesterday.  The doc and nurses say that's normal.  Still, you want everything to be calm so the embryos find a nice comfortable place to hang out for the next nine months.

Total dorky disclosure:  I think of the embryos as being little space ships.  They've left their home planet, Petri Dish and have landed on a new planet, Uterus (not to be confused with Uranus).  They land and the little guys and gals inside the space ship get out in their little space suits.  They feel out the new planet and find it's amazing...far more like a real home than the cool, clear world of Petri Dish.  They fall in love with Uterus and are so much at home that they actually lay down and grab hold of the surface and promise not to let go for nine months.  At the end of nine months, their next assignment is to visit Earth. 

Ok. I know...I'm a TOTAL cheeseball!!  I've nothing better to do during the 2ww!
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Covered in Prayer

When we decided to go forward with this, we mentioned our plans for IVF to one of our Saturday morning aerobics instructors. Her name is Charity. She's a Christian gal who has become a sweet friend. She said her sister had done IVF and gotten pregnant on the first try because "she was covered in prayer." That image really stuck with me. I have felt that all of you have covered us in prayer. That's the only explanation for the amazing success we've had so far. Despite my low/slow response to the ovarian stimulating drugs, we got to see pictures of three outstanding embryos this morning. Dr. Silber was grinning ear to ear when he came in the room and handed the picture to us. He said the statistics had flip-flopped. We now have a 65% chance of pregnancy (things looked much less rosy before egg retrieval). While that's a high percentage, especially in the fertility game, it's not 100%. So, I ask that you continue to cover us in prayer. It's been amazing to see God at work. My sister, Weed sent me an email a week or so ago that said, "God is sovereign over this whole adventure." Amen.

As for the transfer...Brad had a better view than me. In a soothing voice, Dr. Silber encouraged me to relax various muscles. I closed my eyes and imagined walking on a beach, completely removing myself from the operating room. It was over before I knew it. When he was done, Dr. Silber commented that this could've been a very difficult transfer because of my anatomy "down there" but he said I did such a good job relaxing that it was not hard at all. Another reason to Praise God!!

Time to make the donuts

The buns are in the oven.

Sometime between 7:40 and 7:55 a.m., Dr. Silber carefully placed three fertilized embryos into Missy's uterus.

Three?

In his pre-game speech, Dr. Silber once again expressed delight at the remarkable success of our efforts.  To be so unresponsive initially, Missy's eggs have shown vitality like that of a 25-year-old. 

With three good eggs, he recommended transfering all three embryos.  What have we got to lose? The obvious question would be the chances of hitting the jackpot three times.  One percent, according to the doc.

So following an accupuncture session, Dr. Silber brought us a photo of those three miraculous embryos.  We decided Wednesday to name them, although we each had our own monikers.  Missy went with three girls: Ruthie, Claire and Lilly.  Brad went masculine: Michael, Sonny and Fredo.  (That way if one of them didn't fertilize I would know who broke my heart.). (Travis chimed in with the best entry yet: Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod.)

With Missy's legs in the stirrups, Brad got a glimpse of the device the doc was using to get where he needed to go: some kind of steel double-sided shoe horn.  Ouch.  He balanced the uncomfortable device with soothing encouragements of relaxation.  Being calm and cool is key to conception this way.

Then the nurse handed him this syringe with what could best be described as a wet spaghetti noodle, carrying the three embryos.  And that's all she wrote.

Now it's up to the grace of God to continue to bless us by allowing one, two or dare I say three embryos to implant.  (We'll register for that leche lazy susan.).

The risks are still there during this incubation period and beyond. All your thoughts and prayers are so very appreciated and welcome.
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Dreams

The d-lux apartment is ready!! Bring on the embryos!!

The night before my egg retrieval (Tuesday night), I dreamt about chugging water (I couldn't eat or drink anything after midnight). Last night, I dreamt about embryo transfer. Dreams are a way for your mind to work out anxiety. So, after "working" all night, I feel so good today, peaceful and ready to head to St Louis. I'm looking forward to having three full days to "marinate" on the couch. From the brilliant mind of KT came the idea to make these three days like vacation days, complete with vacation themes: beach day, Europe day, etc. Should be fun!! I've also got good books to keep me company.

Our seventh (!) wedding anniversary is next Wednesday. Wouldn't a positive pregnancy test on September 13th be the perfect anniversary gift (much better than the wool/copper/desk set suggested by the hoity-toity crowd for a seventh anniversary).

Continuing with my earth mother theme, I will have an acupuncture therapist meet me at the hospital tomorrow morning for a treatment before and after the transfer. The treatment beforehand will help me relax. The treatment after will reduce uterine contractions, making the d-lux apartment nice and comfy for the babies. It's my understanding that we get a photo-giraffic pimento (bozo fans!) of the embryos. We'll try to scan it and post it here.